Can a person change?

Our souls arrive to this physical plain as a blank page. We are essentially a clean slate. Our soul’s only agenda upon arrival is to learn lessons of love. Our souls have no predetermined path that we have to follow to learn these lessons. We can create ourselves as we go along. I was out with friends the other night and one of them said a person can never change. “Never”, I asked? “ Never”, he responded. Well, that’s harsh and I don’t believe it for a minute. I believe a person can do anything that they want to do despite any of the choices they have made in the past. Often times pain, hurt and shame prevent us from looking objectively at a person or ourselves. This prevents healing from taking place and thus seeing the changes that have occurred. When a person looks within and doesn’t like the things seen, change can take place on any level. This society is not very forgiving and due to this, our eyes are not as open to a person’s potential. I saw a quote the other day on a church billboard, “You make your choices because of who you think you are”. I am not sure of the message that the church was trying to convey, but to me it meant we limit the way we see ourselves. Being an accountant, an IT worker or a nurse doesn’t have to be the only way we define ourselves. Twenty years ago, I never would have guessed I would have had the interest in or courage to study the metaphysical. I believe if you have an interest in something and you put all of your efforts into it, you can accomplish your goals. I believe if you don’t like something about yourself, that you can recreate yourself. You can become the improved version the world needs to see. When we strive to be our best selves, not only are we praising God and healing our souls, we are helping others to see the limitless potential we all have. I want to share with you one of the most helpful things I took from Deepak Chopra’s book Quantum Healing. If you want to have a solution to a problem, picture the situation as already healed. So, for example, if you have a health issue, set your mind to believe it is already healed. Or if you don’t like a something about your job, see the issue as corrected and go about your day believing it. The power of your mind is endless. Thoughts can change your reality. One of my daughters suffers from a challenging, non-life threatening medical issue that has caused all us significant concern. Reading Deepak’s words were a God send for me. From that day on, I just saw her as healed. I found I dealt with her differently. I found myself smiling more when I looked at her instead of with constant concern. I also found I was more at peace with her situation.
Change your thoughts and you can change your life…

Astrology

My middle daughter (C ) is the consummate second child. Frequently she says things such as “I am always the forgotten one” and “How come I never get the car?” As she was commiserating with her 11 year old cousin recently, a new society was formed. Funds are now being requested for Second Child Syndrome. A cure is not needed and funds are always welcome!! So if you haven’t figured it out yet, C is a piece of work. Even at the age of 19 “No” is still her favorite word. She told me the other day that she lives to drive me crazy. Nice.
We started the college search 2 years ago. The first college she visited was an art school in San Francisco. My sister lives in the city and arranged a last minute tour while C was on vacation there. She was sold from the minute she entered the doors. Despite taking her to see many other alternatives on the East Coast, my husband and I knew where her heart was. I couldn’t tell her “no”. That would have just given her years of ammunition against me. I was nervous about her choice but had some reassurance that my sister would only be blocks from C’s dorm. I had my concerns and my husband had even more, but I realized I needed to trust spirit. I knew that she had her own journey ahead of her. So I asked for a sign. I wanted to be told this was the right choice for her.
Decision time was also the time I was learning about astrology from my teacher, mentor and friend, Lino. It was common in the classes for the students to do intuitive readings for one another. On one particular day, it was my turn to ask a question and it was my teacher’s turn to answer. My question was “Where will C go to college?” I had not discussed any of C’s plans with Lino at any point prior to this class. After just a few seconds, Lino responded “California”. Well, that was sure a sign. I thanked spirit and Lino and felt my heart sink. This was really going to happen and I needed to accept it. But what happened the next week really gave me peace of mind. Lino ran astrological charts from www.astro.com that reviewed where the best places for each person in my family to live were located. I was blown away when I saw that C’s sun sign location ran right thru San Francisco. How could I have any doubts now? What a relief! What reassurance! C has had many challenges this past year, but none of them had to do with her location, the school, her classmates or the city. Her grades were A’s and B’s. Not too shabby for a freshman. She will be returning for at least one more year. My guess is that she will be a full-fledged West Coast girl soon, just like my sister!

Keeping a Sense of Self

Stimulation is a constant in today’s society. Rare is the morning when we awake on our own and just breathe in the morning air. From the moment we arise, our body, minds and energetic fields are assaulted with stimuli. Alarm clocks, radios, televisions, computers and other electronic devices bombard us. Usually our minds go into high gear as soon as our feet touch the ground. All this occurs and we haven’t even left our bedrooms yet. Then, we have to deal with the energies of our loved ones. The hectic morning rush is not a good time to try to bond and connect with family. Lost items and missing the bus can wreak havoc on a peaceful breakfast. One can feel guilty wishing to be alone again and it hasn’t even been an hour that you have all been awake! Having to move onward, we start our day. Driving to work, stopping to get gas, listening to the news and dealing with traffic is enough to make anyone just want to crawl back to the comfort and security of their bed. All throughout the day, we hear what others think about politics, family values and the way little league needs to be run. We learn of others good news and the ill health of those close to us. The assault is constant. The stress it causes is real. Sometimes I just want to hide and take a deep breath. So while all of this is going on, how can you maintain a sense of self? How in the world can you even know your own thoughts let alone be at peace? It is not an easy task and it has taken me years to have the sense of self I have now. First and foremost, you have to want to be at peace and radiate peace for yourself and others. If you are looking for peacefulness outside of yourself, chances are you will be waiting a long time. I no longer own my families trivial concerns. I support them but allow them to handle the crisis and make their own decisions. I support my husband in his crazy, demanding job and pray for him, but I don’t carry it with me every minute of the day. I don’t absorb other’s opinions on religion and politics, as a matter of fact, I don’t even discuss them. I was never a good debater. I know my own thoughts on each subject. I usually just listen. Most importantly, I don’t allow myself to be hounded by constant external stimuli. I rarely listen to the TV news or radio. I walk away if a conversation turns negative. I don’t have Facebook up all the time on my computer. My cellphone just texts and makes calls. I find I can breathe and handle the chaos of daily living better, thus maintaining a truer sense of self. I know this won’t work for everyone but I just wanted to share what has worked for me.
Enjoy the silence!

Photo taken by Tracy Irvine @ www.tracyirvinephotography.com

Connecting With Nature

Walking was the first way I connected to spirit. I didn’t even realize I could connect this way. Connecting was never my intention. I would walk to have “me “time and to exercise. It was my escape. I live in an area that is wooded and I found solace in the shaded path I would take. Frequently when I first started walking I would obsess about the concerns of that time. I would worry about the kids’ health, money, lack of time, and my weight just to name a few. As I evolved spiritually, I started to use my walks as a time of prayer. I would also talk to my mom and dad, my aunt and to Mother Mary. Over the years, I have learned not to obsess that much and just enjoy being in the moment, enjoying my walk. Frequently, I’d meet up with neighbors and their pets. It is good for my soul to be in nature and just breathing in the beauty of the blue sky and beautiful landscape. Over the last few years, I have come to love another of connecting with nature, I now enjoy spending time in my garden. The use of the word garden may paint too pretty of a picture, how about I say yard instead. I have come to love watching God’s beauty come alive in the perennials that I have planted. I enjoy touching the earth and caring for things I know will bring me joy. When I am in the yard working, I find I am not worried about anything. My mind almost goes numb. It is a time of peace. I have angel statues in the front and back yards. Whenever I see them, I smile and am reminded that spirit is always with me. Being outside gives me the time to decompress from the tension that I feel and assist God in keeping this physical space beautiful. Sometimes my youngest will care that I am around and actually ask to play some sort of ball game with her. This is usually because I am the last resort, it means none of her friends are around. She knows I am quite uncoordinated but will take the risk anyway. I hate to say no to her, so I make a fool of myself once again. But we always end up laughing and being silly. This is an unexpected way for me to connect to nature and my daughter. Who would have thought?!

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Differences

Five days a week I get an inspirational and motivating message from www.tut.com. Each day I am empowered and reminded that my limits are endless and most importantly I am loved by spirit. I don’t think I have deleted any of the emails I have received. I save them all to a file and peruse them from time to time. The most current message I received prompted this entry. Age and I hope wisdom have called on me to evaluate my personal thought processes. We are all products of our upbringing and most of us blindly accept what our parents taught us as gospel. I was especially guilty of that. I just accepted whatever my parent’s feelings were about most subjects. My mother was a very strong Italian presence. It was her way or the highway. But it was also due to the fact that my mother was sick. Empathy most likely made me more sympathetic to her feelings and I absorbed them like a sponge. Emotions ebbed and flowed in our house and when they were high, it was intense. I am not proud of some of the things I agreed with them about. I know I hurt some family members’ feelings and for that I am truly sorry. It wasn’t until after my parents died that I worked on myself. With therapy and my husband’s help I began to explore myself and what I thought about things. Tut’s message reflected my feelings on current day religious doctrines. If the doctrine excludes anyone for any reason, is it worth celebrating? Shouldn’t we all be accepted for the way God made us? If we are all reflections of God, how can we reject someone because of their differences, religious, cultural or lifestyle? Accepting differences doesn’t mean we have to fully embrace the other person into our lives, it just means we need to respect them. Current day doctrines have caused me to shy away from organized worship. I tease my family that I am attending the church of “me” and that I like the sermons much better!
Be yourself. Listen to yourself. Love yourself.

Fear

Fear can be all encompassing. It can cause paralysis emotionally and spiritually. We can get consumed by worries over money, love and health just to name a few. Fear of the unknown can be daunting. That is, if we let it. In the spiritual world, fear equates to not trusting God. You may pause at that statement. “Of course I trust God”, you say. Our challenge on Earth is to learn lessons. Our souls have predetermined our path. All fear does is hasten our paths back to God. As humans, fear can be as innate as breathing. As I have said before, Earth can be a difficult place. With so much unrest in this world, fear is a natural side effect. We waste so much of our precious energy on fear. It can control our actions, causing us to miss things in life. Statements i.e. “I am too old to do that” or “I will travel when my kids are done school” are fear based. By choosing to not live consciously in the moment, we are surrendering to fear. In my case, fear overwhelmed me for several years before finally admitted I was a spiritual being. Initially, when I first started reading Tarot cards, I was very involved in the Catholic Church. I was active with the parish and with my children’s school. Knowing how the church feels about spirituality, I was scared that the pastor might find out. I felt guilty for exploring something that brought me great joy and clarity. I then found I enjoyed sharing this gift with others. It took me a while, but I realized Tarot and spirituality are gifts from God, just like creativity and talent at math are gifts. They are just manifested differently. I then realized we can praise God with any of our talents. I realized that by following my desires I became more alive. I liked myself better and I liked how my interactions with others changed. Singing, dancing, being good at sports are all wonderful ways of praising God. These gifts were given to us and if we aren't afraid to use them, we can enjoy our lives, bring joy to others and praise God all at the same time! God has given us a clean slate when we enter this reality. We can create whatever we want. If we don't like what we have done, we get to erase the slate and start all over again. Knowing this, is there really anything to fear? Go ahead, have fun......

Red Wine

Red wine is delightful, delicious and addicting. I could reason that I drink it daily for medicinal purposes but that would be a lie. Well, sort of. It started out that way anyway. I am unable to tolerate high sugar content alcoholic drinks and can't stomach the hard liquors. So, about 2 years ago I made a conscious decision to try red wine. It has the antioxidant resveratrol after all to benefit my heart. I told myself I would enjoy a glass when in social situations. A funny thing happened, I began to enjoy red wine! The drier the better! I never imagined myself to be a wine drinker. My favorites are Shiraz, Malbec, Cabernet, Merlot and Pinot. Oops, that is just about all the red wine choices in Pennsylvania for my very young palate. A wonderfully cooked meal and a glass of red wine is the start of a good night for me. Top it off with wonderful friends and it makes for a perfect evening. Such a night occurred last February when I not only had great friends, good food and red wine, I had inspiration! My friend (T) suggested taking a couples cooking class. T said she had taken one before with this woman named (S). It sounded like a fun adventure and my husband and I agreed. T had said in passing that S had recently been undergoing chemotherapy for cancer and was taking a break from treatments. We arrived at S's home to find that the bottom floor of her home devoted to cooking and eating!! Prior to becoming ill, S ran a successful catering business and cooking classes from her home. The living room is occupied by a 10 foot wood plank table that she uses to teach new recipes, give cooking tips and of course allows for eating. The dining room had a standard size table but each corner of the living room and dining room were filled with dishes and cooking items mostly from Italy. This wonderful woman is Italian! I knew I liked her! S has a love for Italy, cooking and for life. Over the course of the evening, she generously shared the stories of her struggles over the past year. Some of the struggles dealt with getting diagnosed, choosing a treatment plan and her anxiety. She did all this with frank honesty and humor. This is not a very easy thing to do, yet she made us all feel at ease. S also openly shared her beliefs about reincarnation, meditation and the preciousness of life. I had found a kindred spirit! I never in a million years would have thought I would be taking a cooking course from someone of the same mindset as I have. It was a million dollar night- friends, food, wine and spirituality! It doesn't get any better than that!!!! Check out her blog when you get a chance. It is a beautiful representation of S's spirit, courage and love for all things food! http://livelaughcook.blogspot.com

Thoughts to make the death of a loved one easier.

Our souls travel in groups. We literally go through different lives with the same circle of souls or loved ones so to speak. God gives us the free will to come to earth to learn the lessons of love that we need to learn. Not all souls choose this path. It is completely up to us to make this choice. Earth is not an easy place to exist. Beauty and joy far outweigh the negative but just the mere existence of negativity makes this plane a difficult place to be. You see, we all chose our paths before arriving to earth. We preplanned the lessons we wanted to learn and who would be the best parents and family members to learn these lessons from. We chose when we would physically be born and when we will die physically. Our conscious, physical selves are not aware of these choices. They are engrained in our souls and energetic bodies. Sometimes our souls are here only briefly, while others are here for decades. Sometimes, we are here to help others learn their lessons, other times to pay back a soul that was good to us in the past. For example, I have been told that my grandmom and I were so close because I was good to her in a previous life. She returned to earth to pay me back by being a special person in my life. I can still feel the loving bond we had and she died when I was 5 years old. A special needs child may have chosen to come to this life with disabilities to learn how to let others love and care for them. This knowledge can help the logical mind justify someone’s death but never our hearts.
My good friend’s mom just passed last week. She was truly a beautiful soul. She was a loving wife, an adoring mother to 5 children (one died of leukemia when he was 8 years old) and a doting grandmom. Along the way she not only touched her family, she lovingly touched extended family members and friends with her smile, her laugh and wonderful hugs. Even in a brief encounter with her, she radiated her love to others with her kind words and supportive touch. My heart aches with her loss. I only saw her a few times over the last few years but as a child and young adult she was an important person in my life. My husband and I used her and her husband as examples of the type of loving marriage we wanted to emulate. I was blessed to know her and I know my soul was supported on this earth because of her presence. Anyone she touched received unconditional love and acceptance. Her spirit was genuine. She was truly here to be an “earth angel”. Now her gifts and love will continue to be spread on this earth by her children and grandchildren. We are all the better off for it.

Easy Spiritual Protection

I had the pleasure of enjoying lunch with my good friend the other day. We were limited in time and met in the café of a large local supermarket. Even though we were in a quiet corner of the café, my friend said, “You know I can’t stand it here, right?” “Every time I shop here, my heart palpitates.” We shared a chuckle but then spoke of the cause of her feelings. While the store is lovely and has the best selection of food around, it is always crowded. This is the problem. My friend is very sensitive energetically. I don’t even think she knows the extent of her energetic abilities. So of course, just walking into a crowded store would be an assault to her energetic field. You see, when a person is sensitive energetically, it means, they are feel all of the energy others are emitting, positive and negative. Even though a person may look put together and calm, all of their emotional baggage can be felt at some level by a sensitive person. Have you ever gone anywhere and just felt so ill at ease that you wanted to flee the space. Perhaps is presented itself as if the room was “stuffy” or an ill feeling in your stomach. You were most likely feeling the negative energies of the room. To prevent you from fearing going out in to public places, it is essential to protect yourself. If you don’t know how to energetically protect yourself, I have a very simple suggestion. Before entering the place you are concerned about, take a few seconds to breathe deeply. With your mind’s eye, see a pink oval of airspace surrounding your body. Make sure it is under your feet, above your head and completely in the front and in back of you, basically encircling you. Ensure that it extends out at least 2 to 3 inches away from your physical body into the airspace around you. The air space around you is actually your aura or your energetic body. This space is just as affected by energies as is your physical body. In the spiritual world, pink is a color of protection. By placing this intention, you will protect yourself. The energies will still be present but you won’t be affected as much by them, possibly not at all. I have used this method with much success while away from home and even in my home during times of ill ease. Using a tool like this can help you to have a stress free experience.

Permission for above photo lovingly granted by Genevieve Shulick-
www.rosesformarie.com

Joy

Isn’t it funny how the simple things in life can bring so much joy! I often say I am easy to please. I don’t need large ticket items to make me happy. I’ll take a glass of wine, a chick flick and be happy as a clam. My definition of a great Sunday dinner is Chinese food. Having a family dinner on the deck with everyone present is another simple joy.
Watching my tulips bloom every spring makes me smile with excitement. Cuddling on the couch at night with my puppy is the best relaxing medicine I have had in a with my girls, especially dining outside with them is a simple joy! (Can’t speak for them however.) I cherish walks in the evening with my husband and appreciate the uninterrupted time. New buds on my Christmas cactus can make me dance with happiness. A clean house can bring a smile to my face and relaxation in my tense muscles. I just love walking in the early morning while the sun is rising. The eastern view of the sky is just breathtaking and makes me feel so peaceful.
While at church, I find myself watching the toddlers and their antics, instead of paying attention to the priest. For several years, at every holiday mass, we would sit near the same family. We would smile and laugh as the youngest girl danced and sang to the music in church and the music in her head. Young children are the purest form of love and one
of the best reflections of God’s presence in this reality. God’s unfiltered reflection is present in every young child. It truly is a gift to spend time with them!
My daughters and I equate butterflies with our dear Aunt Mimi who passed away 5 years ago. So the mere vision of a butterfly brings such joy to us. We always send out love and greetings to Aunt Mimi when we see one. About 4 years ago, we had a new deck built. The day it was completed, 2 butterflies sat on the railing and stayed there into the evening hours. They were present while we ate dinner outside. Occasionally they would flutter above us, briefly going out of our site, only to return and sit on the rail again. The butterflies
danced around my daughters’ heads. One kissed the nose of my youngest. The other landed and stayed on my oldest daughter’s shoulder. The orange and black butterflies came back for the next few days but never stayed as long. We knew this was a special visit. It brought such warmth to all of our hearts. We still talk about them each time we are on the deck. We remain uncertain as to whom they were, but my odds are on my aunt and her brother, my dad.
Pure Joy!

Validation

Validation. Everyone seeks it. Some feel they need it frequently, some constantly. The desire for it can come from deep in our souls. The need can create an ache so great, it can be overwhelming. It can creep up on us slowly, making us unaware of it's presence. Until one day, sitting in a moment of rare stillness, you feel it. It is a dull ache that starts at the base of your neck and extends to the tip of your jaw. The center of this location is the 5th chakra, a vital energy center and it represents self-expression. If you are depending on approval from others, you are stifling your own desires and blocking your 5th chakra. It is very important to honor yourself and be honest about your thoughts and emotions. By doing this, you are keeping this chakra healthy and open for greater expression and creativity. We all want to be told we did a good job, look good and are a nice person. As with everything, there needs to be a balance. If we seek validation for all that we do, we are actually giving our power to others. The problem with waiting for other’s approval is that if we don’t get it, we are disappointed or even devastated. Feeling this way actually gives more of our power away. Our power needs to stay within each of us. We need to own it. We only need to validate ourselves. We only need to be honest with ourselves. We only need to know what we want to express or create. When we are aware of this, we are taking responsibility for our hopes and desires. Upon setting out to do something, make your task and goal only about what You want to achieve. Find peace in your heart with your decision. Make your actions only about your dreams. If you do this, you are honoring yourself, maintaining your own power and keeping your 5th chakra healthy. After all, the only validation you need comes from within. Obtaining another’s will just be some nice icing on the cake!

Synchronicity

Sometimes we almost need a hammer to hit us over the head to get our attention. That is what happened to me years ago. I was in an accelerated program to get my Bachelor degree in nursing. My older 2 girls were in grade school and my youngest just entered Kindergarten. To say I was stressed about being back in school is an understatement. Clinicals and a term paper just about sent me over the edge. I think I lost 5 pounds in the first few weeks of class. Of course, looking back, this was all a colossal waste of my energy. Self-induced stress does nothing but induce illness. I realize that now.
Due to the stress, I would frequently talk to my mom. I never heard from her consciously, but in that state, of course I wouldn’t. One of the course requirements was to do a clinical rotation. I chose school nursing. I visited various elementary, middle and high school nursing offices. I learned so much about the different needs of each age group and also how hard school nursing really is. Children are arriving to school with more med requirements and disease management needs than ever before. I saw at least 3 children with indwelling insulin pumps at each school, even the elementary schools. During the semester, I was due to meet this one nurse at the middle school. We had multiple scheduling conflicts and I finally just said, “Oh well, if I am meant to meet her, I will”. So on the last day I could, I went to the middle school and met with Kathy. She has a beautiful smile that just lights up the room. She also looked very familiar. I told her so, but we couldn’t talk, it was a very busy time in the office. Finally, there was a reprieve from students and we chatted. I persisted telling her she looked familiar. After about 20 questions, we realized we had a friend in common. This friend, Margaret, was the nurse who coordinated the constant care my mother needed. I said to Kathy, “well if you knew Margaret, you must have heard her speak of Terry”. (Terry was my mother’s name.) She said, “I took care of Terry”. I still get chills when I think of this! I sat there incredulous and could only whisper. “Terry was my mom.” We were both shocked and then very happy to see one another again. Kathy worked with my mom in the evenings when I worked middle shift. I rarely saw her.
Well, my mom certainly got my attention that day. Thank you Mom! I promise the next time you want to communicate, I will be listening.