Is the Bible Necessary?

I have discovered that I am not a person who needs a rule book. I don’t find I have the need to have volumes of information from the past to know how to live in the future. I mean no disrespect to all of the scholars out there who are immensely more intelligent than I am. I can appreciate a person’s desire for knowledge and the need to know what events have occurred bringing us to this present date. I just have never been overly excited with history. I can now relate my feelings for history with my feelings for the Bible. (Stand back! Lightening may strike!) Again, I have no disrespect for the written Word. I just don’t resonate toward it. I don’t feel the desire to know all about the old testament teachings and I don’t need to be able to quote the gospels to know how I want to live my life. Some people feel that this type of knowledge, direction and structure is essential for their relationship with God. I don’t feel this type of guidance is a good fit for me. The only guidance I need comes from my own heart and mind. I only need to follow my own writings that are already etched into my soul: God is love, God does not judge, God will give us more than one chance to get it right. God doesn’t care what house we worship in, or if we even choose to worship in an organized way at all. Frankly, God doesn’t even care if we choose love in this lifetime. God gives us free will to make our own choices. That is the ultimate loving gift and he/she gives us more than one chance to get it all right. So I will continue to follow my own drum and live by my commandments - love others, do not judge others for their choices, be kind to others always, seek peace at all times and always have hope.

Gratefulness

Every day I try to give thanks for this life and all that I am blessed with in this physical space. As a young teen and woman I never looked beyond what was in front of me – my mom’s illness and the constant stress imposed on the family. I just lived and tried to do it happily. I never thought of intention. Spirituality wasn’t even a budding interest. I just accepted life as it was and rolled with it, most of the time with a smile on my face. I was grateful for my education, my nursing job and my loved ones. My life was full. Fast forward to the present day… and I never could have imagined my life as it is. I am so blessed to have my husband, girls, family, friends, interests, the beauty of Chester County, a great job and my spirituality. I am humbled, thankful and most appreciative for the gift of life. Namaste

Transition Time Again

As the summer comes to a close, our home is preparing again for another transition. Like many of you out there, we have college students. The end of August is filled with planning, packing and preparing emotionally and financially for the return to school. I never lived away at college, so I can’t say that I had that “experience”. I imagine it to be all the freedom of adulthood without much of the financial responsibility or house rules. That is, at least until the loans come in and the student moves home. I grew up in a small town just west of Philadelphia. It can be likened to an island unto itself. The grocery store, the doctor’s office, the library and pool, the church and school were all within walking distance. The borough had 3 different ways to get to the city. Seeking a nursing education in Philadelphia, I didn’t need to move away from home. I couldn’t afford it anyway, so it was a moot point. My college experience was stressful from beginning to end. Some nursing instructors like to “eat their young” which is very unfortunate considering it is such a nurturing profession. Anyway, I didn’t get to develop my social skills or discover myself. I have to admit, I am a little envious of my daughters. They are having very different experiences, one in a San Francisco and the other in Bloomsburg, PA. Yet they are enriching their lives and getting to know themselves in ways I never had the opportunity to do. I love to live vicariously through them. I look forward to hearing about their experiences. I usually prefer the non-scholastic highlights; they are much more exciting for me. This year my youngest and I will be taking my daughter “C” to San Francisco to help her to get settled and have some touristy fun. Oh and we will also be visiting my sister who lives in the city. I haven’t had to accompany my oldest to Bloomsburg for the last few years since she has a car and is a very independent woman. I have to admit that I miss the solitary time with her. There is something so special about having uninterrupted time with one child. A parent can really relate to the child in a way that isn’t possible with the pull of other siblings around. The focus can be on solely that child and an appreciation of their uniqueness can be experienced. Adulthood is great for an individual but it can be difficult for parents to accept that their children are adults. The void of that distant childhood is an ache that is felt in the center of a parent’s heart. But life goes on, transitions ebb and flow and all we can do is cope. Here’s to coping….

Stop The "Me" Cycle

What does it take to realize that the things we want may not be the things that are always best for us? As humans, we can get caught up in the "me” cycle and get tunnel vision. It is so easy to do in this society. Getting wrapped up in this cycle can make it so easy to hurt the people close to us. The "me" cycle can lead to addictions, affairs and even ill health. For some of us, to break the cycle, it takes a punch to the gut. The punch comes when realize we have let our children, our parents/siblings or our spouses down. Seeing the hurt in their eyes is devastating. Immediately we want to erase the reality and pain of the situation but are paralyzed to do so. The weight of the internal hurt from the selfishness and the pain you have inflicted can cause you to crumble. You may wonder, “How do I go on”? “Where do I go from here?” “Will I ever be forgiven?” “Will I ever be able to forgive myself?” The key is to not get ourselves into these types of situations to begin with, at least not to the extent of the extreme scenarios above. The best way to do this is to realize we are a part of this great universe. Be active and take part in its’ wonder and beauty. Make yourself part of a group. It doesn't have to be a spiritual one, just a group with good intentions. Some examples are a church group, a neighborhood or parents group or even a book club. You could volunteer for a local charity, children’s club or food shelter. You could make sure you go and see your parents weekly and assist them or just listen to them. Seeing the world from another's eyes can do wonders to open up the world that you see and live in. This can end the tunnel vision and get us out of the "me" cycle. Spiritually we are all one. We just need to remember that.

Still Searching

As you may remember, I have had trouble recently outwardly practicing my faith. I still believe that Jesus is the son of God, I just have trouble with the way the church is non-bending on some of the current issues of the day. I also feel that the church is not empowering enough of it’s members. So I continue to struggle with not being a part of something that was a big part of my life for the last 47 years and is still a major part of my husband’s life. I am currently reading a book entitled Heaven is for Real: A Little Boy's Story by Todd Burpo. It is a lovely tale of a 4 year old’s visit to heaven while undergoing surgery for a burst appendix. It is hard to tell if the author, who is also Christian pastor, taints the story in any way but I have to say the words are compelling. I totally believe in near death experiences and the ability of the soul to travel to heaven, meet God, angels and past loved ones and then return to the physical body. The book gives me hope that I will one day see my parents and other close family members again. The story reflects on the boys very vivid experience of meeting God, Jesus, his great grandfather and the sister that his mom miscarried. It spoke of what heaven was like and what God and Jesus looked like. The boy’s words reflected much of how scripture described heaven to look like. This is where I have the problem. Is everyone’s experience the same? Did Jesus reflect heaven to look like what the boy could relate to as a Christian? Did he make it so that the boy’s loved ones would be able to relate to the descriptions the boy could give? Does this mean scripture is 100% correct and I need to get my butt back to church?? I am not sold yet but may be going to mass again with my husband soon. I hope it is not like the last experience I had when I could not relate to the sermon of a priest I really like and was offended by his words. I swear I heard the word “leave” in my head, and I almost did. I only stayed because my youngest was with me. Only time will tell if I will ever be comfortable with my faith of origin again. In the mean time I am still searching for what feels right and always have hope for better understanding and inner peace.

Family Vacation

My family and I recently went on a vacation far from home. I have to admit that the thought of too much togetherness had me a little nervous. I was quite hesitant about it until I asked the Angels for this to be a wonderful vacation with a lot of fun and love toward one another. I also went into the trip with no expectations. It was only the second day and I have to say, I was most thankful. By the week’s end, I was elated! The week was so much more than I had hoped for. I was so grateful for the chance for all of us together. I know that this may have well been our last vacation as a family. Believe me, there were squabbles and tense moments but for the most part, we experienced unity and the joy of being a family. As always, when we get together, we had to talk of all the silly things the kids did when they were little. These were mostly memories the girls would rather forget, but we laughed anyway. We discovered new things and most of all had a lot of fun!! I truly forgot what it was like to be away without the everyday responsibilities weighing on me. Guiltily, I have to say, I wasn’t even worried about our puppy. I knew she was in good hands and I truly relaxed. To top it off, I only had to cook 2 times that week!! My husband would laugh and say that is all you cook anyway! Perhaps that is true but being away really allowed for me to get my shoulders away from my ears and my body and mind to be at peace. It didn’t hurt that I had one of the best dinners of my life, went on a winery tour and had the absolute best time I ever had at a water park. This trip was truly rejuvenating and I couldn’t have asked for a better experience with my family. I am truly grateful.

Do You Accept Yourself?

As I have mentioned before, I use Doreen Virtues’ Healing with the Angels cards. Before I go to bed each night I pick a card with the intention of guidance for the next day. The other night I picked Self-Acceptance. I thought to myself, the concept of accepting everything about me is a little unrealistic. I don’t know about you but as a woman I am constantly berating myself for having dessert, not fitting into last season’s clothes and feeling guilty for missing my daughter’s game. But when you think about self-acceptance, it really goes much deeper than vanity or guilt. It means loving everything you are. It means forgetting about your family order and forgiving yourself for the mistakes you made in high school and the car accident you caused last year. It means loving yourself unconditionally just like the angels do. The angles and God love you no matter what. The message in the deck says that we need to see ourselves the way the angels do, a perfect and holy child of God. The angels see past the mistakes we have made and only see the reflection of the Divine within us. So what would it look like if we accepted ourselves? Would that tape recorder in your head that constantly berates you stop? Would you be able to smile more and be more accepting of yourself and others? It is only when we stop criticizing ourselves that our mindset changes. When change happens, self-improvement can begin. So starting now, make a conscious effort to only think positive thoughts about yourself. If you find it this difficult, just pick one thing a day to be positive about. I have had to come to terms with the fact that I am not the quickest performer at work. I used to beat myself up and stress over my performance. But one day I realized that I wasn’t serving anyone with the stress, I was only driving myself nuts. Once I relaxed and just performed to the best of my ability, I was so much happier. Isn’t that the ultimate goal? Doesn’t love equal happiness? You bet!!!